由Anne Gagliano
在我的最后一列中，“Why Women Leave“我报告说，女性归档比男人更频繁地离婚。统计数据显示，妻子启动了66％至90％的离婚，她最有可能这样做beforethe age of 40. But men leave too. When a man files for divorce, he is most likely to do so后40岁。他的年龄和他离开的原因与她的原因不同。当被调查时，寻求离婚的男子列出了以下陈述，因为他们不再对其妻子满足的五大原因：
她不会让我笑了;她没有乐趣。
2.我们没有足够的性爱,我们做什么have has become too routine.
3. She doesn’t put me first anymore; the kids are first.
她总是唠叨我。
她让自己走了;我不再发现她有吸引力。
相反，愉快地结婚的男人被要求描述他们发现最吸引人的妻子以及他们认为她的原因an irresistible woman.The following are their top five answers:
1. She meets my need for sexual fulfillment.
2.She is my constant fun-time companion.
3. She makes an effort to stay fit, dress nice, and she wears her hair the way I like it.
她带着愉快，舒适的地方。
她是我最大的粉丝。
哇！你在这两个列表之间找到了像我一样惊人的相似性吗？这很明显男人离开的原因和他们保持的原因非常一致。他的顶级需求是满足或未满足的;妇女的关键是学习这些需求是什么以及如何实现它们（这是两性的情况真正的情况）。
所以让我们看看男人自己宣布了一个不可抗拒的妻子。显而易见的数字 - 一个质量是性满意。这是什么意思？令人惊讶的是，答案不是你的想法;这不是物理的。男子宣称满足性行为，包括这个必要的成分：她尽可能多地享受它。女人想要觉得可取，等等男人。If he’s feeling like he’s not pleasing you, sex will not besatisfying给他。
研究表明，丈夫将他的妻子描述为“优秀的性伴侣”，当时她能够向他传达她的性欲。She explores and understands what brings out the best in her sexual experience and makes the effort to teach him how to accomplish this.
当他们的妻子时，男人也喜欢它initiate sex.他们厌倦了“做所有的工作”。计划日期，新装备或任何小努力对一个人发言，非常感谢。妻子，在你一天的某个地方削减一些地方，以节省一些能量为卧室 - 它是牺牲得很好的花费，因为男人最有可能想要“聊天”后sex when they are full of the bonding hormone, oxytocin. She needs emotional, verbal connection (as was conveyed in my last column) and he needs physical connection; the two needs are met in the bedroom.
The number-two quality of the irresistible wife is乐趣。Men like to have fun. They like to laugh. This is especially true for firefighters, who work in a high-stress or often traumatic profession. Laughter is the best remedy for stress. Men report that they love it when their wife makes an effort to plan an activity that she knows he will enjoy and then chooses to participate in it as well. This can be as simple as a “guy movie” or as extravagant as a dream trip; any effort is appreciated.
The number-three quality of the irresistible wife isattractiveness.我知道，这似乎如此浅薄，甚至是不公平的，因为我们的女性无法控制老化过程。但如果你会注意到，这个词努力is used in this instance. Men will always find their wives attractive if they will simply make an试图保持如此（如果他们是合理的男性，那就是）。有些人只是以不切实际的期望自恋，并且尽管有一个女人的最佳努力，但是遗憾地留下。但对于真正重视妻子的普通，道德男人，他只是希望她完全让自己走。这样做传达一种态度，“我有你，所以我不需要继续尝试。”努力意味着自尊和骄傲，这是男人渴望的基础属性。
不可抗拒的妻子的数量四种质量是令人愉快的。She is pleasant to be around and she therefore makes home a pleasant place to be. If you will note the reasons men leave, the number four reason was “She’s always nagging me.” This is the对立of pleasant. Men don’t want to live with a taskmaster. With constant demand, criticism, and complaint. With chaotic, unruly children who dominate and come first (the number-three reason for leaving). The wise King Solomon put it this way, “Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife.” (Proverbs 17:1) No one wants to come home to constant hassle. Men report that they desire to live with a wife who behaves as a “girlfriend,” not a “bossy mother.” They also thrive in a peaceful home where they can actually get some work done, which frees up more time and a greater desire for family activities, which is what everyone ultimately wants.
不可抗拒的妻子的数字五种质量尊重。“She’s my biggest fan”; she admires my achievements and constantly reminds me of them. In fact, she knows them better than I do. She makes me feel good about all that I have done and makes me believe I can do more. She praises my capabilities and spurs me on when I grow weary. This is what “biggest fans” do—cheer for you in the front row, center stage. Men say they need this from their wives to “feel safe,” as it lets them know she’s got his back and won’t betray his weaknesses to others. She overlooks his faults and won’t see them as a reason to leave. She is true, trustworthy, and loyal.
There is hope for any marriage, even ones that have become incompatible, inharmonious, and antagonistic. Husbands and wives, if your marriage is on the brink of divorce, if one of you wishes to leave, give it one more shot. Take the time to learn each other’s needs and strive to meet them; if you will do so, you will go from having become repellent to once again having an overpowering appeal, which is to be不可抗拒。
安妮G.aglianohas been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 29 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
