By Anne Gagliano
If you’re hoping to raise superstars, you’d be better off checking with the parents of Brett Favre or Beyoncé. If you are, however, just hoping to raise loving, emotionally stable, hard-working, respectful, decent kids who graduate from college, then read on. No superstars were produced in our home, but I must say, my husband Mike and I somehow managed to raise two fine young men who’ve turned out remarkably stable in the midst of the chaotic life of a firefighter. Our oldest son Michael is happily married, is a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in chemistry, and has a terrific job as a computer services manager for the graduate department of Seattle Pacific University. Our youngest son Rick is in his second year of law school at George Mason University in Arlington, Virginia, and he has just landed an internship with a congressman there. Neither has ever been in any kind of trouble, and they never rebelled against us; we’ve always been close and still are.
那我们是怎么做到的呢？其中有些只是纯粹，愚蠢的运气，其中有些只是他们的身份，而某些小部分可以归因于我们的育儿。孩子们没有带来一套说明，但是我们的父母总是可以向别人寻求一些建议。因此，我将与您实际上所做的年轻家庭分享一些技巧，显然有效：
1。Keep your kids on a regular schedule even though your firefighter is not。This one’s tough because firefighters keep chaotic hours that are generally in direct contrast with everyone else’s. Mike was often up all night and needed to try to sleep during the day while I struggled to keep little boys quiet. But what kept us sane and connected in the midst of these chaotic, conflicting hours was to be strict in two areas: bedtime and dinnertime. During the school years, I had the kids in bed at the same time each night whether Dad was there to tuck them in or not. Mike had one schedule, the kids had another, and I somehow lived in between the two. And when Daddy was home, we sat down to dinner一起。我知道太多的家庭never一起吃晚餐，我认为这是一场悲剧，分享一餐是结合在一起的绝佳时机。使其神圣，不适应，因为这是保持联系的一种简单方法，以免成为白天或黑夜经过的船只。我们做到了；即使在青少年时期，进餐时间也一直在整个过程中。睡前和用餐时间可能是消防员儿童稳定的两个基石。
2. A work ethic must be taught by doing, not by observing.任何知道我男孩的人都知道这一点：他们每个人都有令人难以置信的职业道德。我不认为这仅仅是由父母的榜样发生的。实际上，相反的情况似乎发生了。我认识很多勤奋的消防员为他们。我们教我们的孩子通过给他们的琐事名单来珍视工作并从很小的时候就为自己做。I hand-wrote lists with actual “check boxes,” then photocopied them so I’d have a whole stack (this was before the days of home computers with printers.) As soon as my kids were old enough to read, they were given these lists of age-appropriate duties and shown how to complete them. The chores included feeding pets, hauling garbage (with help if needed), even bathing and reading books. (My little boys were not willing bathers.) I wanted them to learn to appreciate hygiene and reading, and the chore lists helped with this. When a completed chore list was turned in, they received an allowance–an award for hard work. The money was theirs to do with as they pleased. We never just gave our kids anything except on birthdays and holidays. If they wanted something, they had to earn it. They eventually outgrew the chore lists and kept mental note of their tasks, even adding more as they became stronger and more mature. By around age 12, they took on all the yard work, splitting the tasks between them as they chose; we let them work it out. At age 14, they expanded their earning potential by doing yard work and dog care for neighbors, extended family, and friends. In high school, they both landed afterschool jobs and made their own car payments, buying for themselves their own vehicles. They also worked during their junior and senior years of college, paying their own bills when they lived off-campus. (We didn’t want them to work their freshman and sophomore years because we felt that simply adjusting to college life was enough at first.) We told our kids that we were a team, that each of us had to do our part if we were to make it as a family. They had something to contribute, and we as their parents needed them to help. And the way we made them想帮助他们是通过津贴，赞美，赞赏和尊重来奖励他们。
3. Pets help kids become caring, tender-hearted people with a keener respect for life.我们都知道，消防员面临死亡 - 他人的死亡，甚至是死亡的威胁。这种消防的现实是我们父母努力保护188金博网网址多少我们的孩子免受的事情，这是理所当然的。我们不希望每次消防员父母都在工作时都会恐慌发作。然而，与此同时，我们希望我们的孩子知道little死亡,这样他们不仅可以更好地准备ared if the worst should happen, but also appreciate the value of life. Enter a pet. A pet is a good safe place to start on this topic. We love our pets, but they’re not human, so it’s a gradual stepping-stone along this path. The first creatures to enter our home were bugs and frogs–great place to start when learning of life and death for they don’t live long, yet they can still be appreciated while they last. Then we got our little boys guinea pigs. They loved these simple, silly creatures and learned how to care for them (with my supervision, of course.) We even let our pigs breed, and this was another great life lesson. Guinea pigs don’t live very long, either, but this is the tragedy of pets: We love them, we lose them, we bury them, then life goes on. Next, we got a puppy, and our boys grasped an even deeper sense of attachment that was both incredible and heartbreaking. Our family dogs have come and gone (one was even hit by a car), but we believe our affection for these four-legged family members has enriched our boys’ lives by giving them tender hearts, deeper character, and a better understanding of what their father does for a living—he tries to preserve life.
In my next column, I will continue with more of my 10 tips for firefighter parents that will include how to create good students, the impact of peers, and helping your children have high self-esteem by finding their hidden talents.
安妮·加里亚诺（Anne Gagliano）has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 27 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
