经过安妮·加里亚诺（Anne Gagliano）
七二百万的美国人一生中至少看过一次色情片，而每月有4000万次访问色情网站。近100％的治疗师报告说，治疗色情成瘾令人震惊。现在，我们正在培养整个世代色情，目前的平均暴露年龄仅为11个 - 想象一下，在您初吻之前见证了明确的色情图像？
Pornography is readily available to anyone at any time—it’s quite tempting, especially for men; 85 percent of viewers are indeed men. So what’s the big deal; it’s just a little harmless fun, isn’t it? After all, a bit of porn can liven up the old marital sex life, right? Wrong!
Pornography is anything but harmless, and it’s rarely just “occasional,” because it is just as addictive as any drug; the chemicals that are released into the brain from drug use are identical to those released while viewing porn.Pornography addiction is the most harmful when it comes to marriage, and there are three primary reasons for this.
1）色情对亲密关系产生负面态度。无数的研究和神经成像证实了这一点。普林斯顿大学心理学教授苏珊·菲斯克（Susan Fiske）在2010年使用MRI扫描来分析观看色情的男性。之后，大脑活动揭示了她们更多地将女性视为目的than as a person. Wives of porn addicts often seek therapy, and they report this as their number one complaint: Their husband no longer seemed “present” during sex. Intimacy had vanished. Porn movies are consistent in presenting women as either one of four things: mindless playmates, nymphomaniacs, heartless gold-diggers, or someone who enjoys pain. These dehumanizing views of women are demeaning and present them as subordinates instead of sensitive, intelligent, loving persons with a soul of equal value to any man. Wives report a noted change in their husband’s treatment of them as their addictions grow; affection, communication, and nonsexual touch evaporate, and since this is the number one need in marriage for most women, it is no wonder that the relationship suffers.
2）色情麻木。您可能认为色情会激发您，刺激您，使您充满活力，但实际上，它像Novocain一样麻木。您看到的越多，您的性精神就越被杀死，因此越来越难以受到刺激。正常的婚姻关系变得无聊。瘾君子的妻子说，丈夫对极端行为的需求增加，有时甚至是粗糙。您在色情内容中看到的东西是您从未见过的东西，也看不到。几乎不可能将这些图像从您的脑海中脱颖而出。一旦暴露，您就永远不会一样。它一点点地杀死了你的灵魂，让你空了。就像砍伐森林一样：就您而言，每次都会去。瘾君子将越来越深，直到接管为止。 your spouse no longer appeals to you, and you no longer appeal to your spouse. What you believed would enliven the marital relationship has instead killed it; what you thought would make you feel more alive has instead left you feeling dead inside.
3) Porn trades the truth for a lie.色情明星是幻想。大多数人几乎不超过18岁，它们的图像得到了增强或刷牙。许多人接受了整形手术。如前所述，它们看起来无意识或无情，使它们成为完美的性别对象。观众无穷无尽。所有的形状和尺寸都可以欣赏。对于瘾君子而言，幻想变得比真正的肉女人，你的灵魂伴侣，爱你 - 你的妻子的人更具吸引力。那是色情的谎言；它承诺要实现，但取得了空虚，使观众曾经有一个有意义的关系，完全孤独。许多瘾君子开始孤立自己，撒谎和展示秘密行为。 Addicts become literally married to the Web, preferring to gratify themselves sexually alone, withdrawing from their partner altogether. It has the same impact on a marriage as an actual affair; wives feel lied to, cheated on, and replaced by the “perfect woman,” or the fantasy—someone they could never be. But here’s the truth: Nearly 95 percent of porn performers contract sexually transmitted diseases at least once in their short-lived carriers, including incurable genital herpes and even HIV. As a result, many become permanently infertile. Most are drug addicts that will do anything for money. They are broken, desperate, damaged girls who report being exploited, abused, and often forced into prostitution by this industry. They are hardly the “ideal” woman. Pornography promises everything but delivers nothing; it is a lie in every sense of the word.
Porn vs. marriage—which one wins? Which will get all of your passion, erotic energy, and desire—a computer image or the real, flesh-and-blood woman who loves you back? You decide.
安妮·加里亚诺（Anne Gagliano）has been married to Captain Mike Gagliano of the Seattle (WA) Fire Department for 27 years. She and her husband lecture together on building and maintaining a strong marriage.
