Anne Gagliano
我的丈夫迈克（Mike）和我坐在华盛顿特区外面的费尔法克斯校园（Fairfax Campus）的乔治·梅森大学（GMU）演出艺术礼堂。我们是具有无障碍视图的中心舞台。GMU爵士乐合奏会播放专业的质量，开朗的音乐，以娱乐我们在等待时娱乐人群。我们周围的家庭很高兴聊天。笑声和明显的兴奋在空中。但是迈克和我静静地坐着坚忍。在这一天，在过去的26年中，我们为之奋斗，爪子和努力的这一天，我们与周围的人冲突。他们正在经历快乐；另一方面，我们正在经历时差,焦虑，和一种压倒性的感觉刺激。
这时差（只能将其描述为带有迷失方向的骨骼疲倦的疲劳），这是前一天和前一周的艰苦旅程的结果。迈克从西雅图飞往科罗拉多州，在那里教了两天。然后他飞往犹他州，我加入了他，在那里我们俩都教了两天。教学后，我们跳上飞机，从犹他州飞往华盛顿特区的罗纳德·里根机场（Ronald Reagan Airport），飞往了我们的儿子里克（Rick）的法学院毕业，这就是我们现在找到自己的地方。
Rick does not have his car in DC, so we are beholden to the Metro train system to get around. By the time we had arrived the night before, it was late and it was Friday; the trains were packed, and we had a ridiculous amount of luggage because of our already long journey. I managed to squeeze onto the train, but as Mike made his way in, the door closed on his arm, which was grasping his second suitcase, still on the platform! A scream began to rise in my throat as I feared Mike’s arm was about to be ripped off, but Rick somehow managed to push himself, his dad, and our fourth suitcase through the closed door just as the train began to move. By the time we’d lugged ourselves and our baggage to Rick’s place, visited a bit, and recovered enough from our near trauma to actually go to bed, it was 2:00 a.m. So on this day, this momentous day, we’d gone from Pacific to Mountain to Eastern Standard Time, and we were, to say the least, blasted. It’s hard to “feel” the moment when all you feel is tired.
这焦虑潜伏在我们的疲劳下完全来自另一个来源。尽管我们的儿子确实正在接受法律学位（或我们刚刚学会的法学医生学位）毕业，他是我们家庭中的第一个（双方），他在这么远的地方，但他仍然在the day, doesn’t have an actualjob.他有前景；有希望的实习生排队；而且，面对现实，这是一项令人印象深刻的教育，但他仍然必须通过标准，即使那样，也没有“保证”。一切都可以解决吗？在这种经济中，工作前景黯淡的经济中，他和我们的所有牺牲（中产阶级消防员家庭）都会值得吗？我们是否赌博并抛出了研究生院的危险骰子，只是输了？当然有可能；当我们等待仪式开始时，这些想法困扰着我们。很难“感觉到”您对孩子仍然不确定的未来感到焦虑的时刻。
但是，喷气式滞后和焦虑都覆盖的是真正抑制我们精神的情感 -刺激。Irritation with the Met system, which, once again, had threatened to make us late. Irritation with the Uber car (which we had to hire to take us from where the Met ended) that couldn’t find us and ate up even more precious time. And irritation with the fact that my son’s graduation gown was wrinkled. This was not how I had pictured this day to be. And it all stemmed from one unavoidable reality: a lack of control. You’d think after nearly 29 years of Mike being a firefighter and my living with one, we’d be used to chaos, but even now, it sometimes gets to us—especially on important occasions when we’re tired and anxious. In the past, I’d had control over my boys’ graduations. For high school, we went all out; announcements, big family parties, and perfectly ironed gowns. The enormous crowd with 400 graduating seniors and their families filled the high school’s football stadium. When both of our boys graduated from Seattle Pacific University, the crowd was so big it required the use of the Seattle Mariners Safeco Field. This day, too, had been filled with extensive family, an elaborate dinner, and perfectly ironed gowns. But today—the most notable graduation of all—was anything but elaborate. Far from home, it was just Mike and I who waited to cheer for our boy. The crowd was so small as to barely fill this indoor auditorium; and Rick’s gown was wrinkled from the Met ride, as he had to carry it in a bag. Because of the chaos it took to get here and the seeming inconsequence of the whole affair, we sat disgruntled in our seats. It’s hard to “feel” the moment when all you feel is irritation.
但是，当欢呼的爵士音乐停止，房间变得安静时，一切都会突然改变。然后，随着法律毕业生来参加礼堂，乐队轻轻而甜蜜地开始演奏经典的怀旧旋律“蓬松和情况”。在那一刻，我们的疲劳消失了，我们的焦虑消退了，我们的烦恼消失了。眼泪从我们的眼睛上自由散开，弄湿了我们的脸颊。当我们认识到我们的儿子，这位令人印象深刻的法律研究生服装时，我们的精神飙升，他一直待在这门课程中，直到今天。是的，人群很小，但这是因为很少有人能做到这一点。他在那一刻 - 都有一个拥有光明前途的男人和曾经在我们家中开心玩过的宝贵小男孩。情感音乐具有这种效果；它带您直接向下记忆巷。里克（Rick）变得“瑞奇（Ricky）”，因为他的生活在我面前闪烁，曾经爱过蚱hoppers的孩子非常爱它们，以至于他始终随身携带一个大塑料。 Ricky, who used to roam the field next to our house catching live grasshoppers and “Greeny Aliens” (his name for katydids) to keep as pets.
Two days later, we are wandering the halls of DC’s incredible Museum of Natural History. We’d been here many times before, as it is one of our favorites. But this day there is something new, a special attraction. It is surrounded by a crowd of little boys and their mothers who are taking pictures. We get closer. An entomologist has a table full of jars, and in the jars are several kinds of rare and exotic bugs from other lands. She is allowing the children (all boys) to hold the bugs. And in her hand sits a giant grasshopper from South America–a real-life replica of Ricky’s childhood toy! We are astounded. Rick, the law school graduate with a Juris Doctor degree, waits his turn among the little boys. Then he takes the grasshopper in his hand and stares at it with the same awe and wonder he once had as a child. I take his picture.
我们无法控制生活中发生的事情，但是我们可以控制自己的反应。我们可以让自己淹没在不确定性的重量下，屈服于刺激，或者在艰难时期放弃。但是，当我们选择放开控制权并欣赏小小的惊喜（例如那天看到蚱hoppers）时，很棒的事情发生了：我们收到了希望的礼物 - 一天；希望未来；并希望从长远来看，一切都会以一种或另一种方式锻炼。在那一刻，我们决定“感受”它。
安妮·G阿格里亚诺已与西雅图消防局的迈克·加利亚诺（Mike Gagliano）上尉结婚29年。她和她的丈夫一起讲授建立和保持牢固的婚姻。
