Excerpts from Larry and David Conley’s keynote “Powerless,” delivered atFDIC International 2021on Opening Ceremony Day 2, Thursday, August 5, at the Indiana Convention Center Sagamore Ballroom in Indianapolis:
“Good morning. My name is Larry Conley. I am a 29-year veteran of the St. Louis (MO) Fire Department. As much as I hate to admit it, there have been times when I have felt … powerless. It is not something we like to talk about in the fire service. Still, the message gets out. There are more suicides in the fire service than line-of-duty deaths. Think about that for a second. Today, I am going to talk about how to maximize your greatest resource, YOU. I am going to show you how paying attention to 5 areas of your life can keep you refreshed and less likely to feel … powerless.
“大卫和我去全国各地的教学人员onal leadership model called the EMPOWER model. Our belief is when you internalize this model, you develop practices that improve your life. This model helps you realize, develop, and manage your power in a way that potentially makes yo”u the best version of yourself.
“授权模型的要素是末日，相互胜利，积极主动，组织优先级，共同努力，善解人意的聆听和充值。
“终点涉及为您的目标创建清晰的心理图片。结局是什么样的？想象一下这个目标。建立，创建，实现，成为您想要的任何东西是蓝图。这是指南针使您保持在真实的北方。巩固您的个人终点的一种方法是构成个人宪法。像美国宪法一样，个人宪法将为建立自己的最佳自我创造一个不可动摇的基础。
“相互胜利暗示了每一种人类互动的思考，以获得所有参与方的最佳结果的方式。该原则非常适合解决冲突，但可以为您和周围的每个人创造心理安全的环境。它缓解了与大多数互动中固有的胜利有关的压力和焦虑。掌握这一元素对于促进日常生活中的和平非常重要。
“积极主动的人是活着的最有能力的人。他们倾向于为压力的情况做好准备。这是因为他们生活的方式促进了不断的准备。积极主动意味着您使事情发生比对发生的事情做出反应更多。
“Organizing Priorities is about putting the things that matter most before the things that matter least. Though this seems obvious, a lot of us live our lives without prioritizing things like our health, our families, and our emotional well-being. When you master the ability to identify and prioritize things in your life from most important to least important, you are more efficient with time and with what you allow to stress and distract you.
“共同努力涉及促进圈子中每个人的优势。在确定每个人的强壮西装时，您可以验证圈子中任何人的贡献。您以同等的身份对待每个人，包括您自己。您可以促进人际关系的团结和成长，建造桥梁而不是墙壁。这种统一对于像消防部门一样紧密的组织至关重要。
“Empathetic Listening addresses one of the greatest human needs–the need to be understood. You would be surprised how much richer your relationships become when you learn to really hear the other person’s point of view and they really hear yours. One thing that makes a person feel the most powerless is shouting into a void. What you drive, what you wear, your job– everything you do says hear me.
“对我来说，充电是最重要的元素。它大大降低了无能为力的感觉。显然，在与这种感觉作斗争中最重要。现在有多少人拥有电源不到50％的手机？电话公司在便携式充电器上赚了数百万美元，目的是防止手机变得无能为力。如果我们竭尽所能为手机充电，为什么我们花那么少的时间为自己充电呢？当该手机耗尽时，我们说它已经死了。当我们在五个领域中的一个或多个区域中耗尽时，我们会冒着遭受同样命运的风险。我谈论的五个领域是精神，情感，精神，身体和社交。不为您的生活中的这些领域充电会对您的表现和个人福祉产生深远而有害的影响。 The effects range from diminished performance to depression and suicide. The abrupt violent self-destruction illustrated earlier is one way to commit suicide, but a lot of us are committing a slow suicide. Bad diet and bad habits take a toll on our health, contributing to heart attacks. Heart attacks are the number one cause of firefighter deaths. Suicides outnumber LODDs. We are an industry dedicated to saving lives, but we give little to no thought about our own. We have to do better.
“Spiritual. My brother David and I were raised with a spiritual foundation. Having a base in the belief of a higher power has been a comfort for me in trying times. Having a connection to something bigger than yourself can be inspiring and clarifying. My faith, and some of the rituals used to fortify it, have kept me centered when all around me tempted me to chaos. Your faith or spiritual allegiance is a deeply personal thing. It is also very necessary. Don’t ignore it. Take time to study, pray, meditate, to connect and align your spiritual self. Learn to believe the impossible is possible and watch miracles happen.
“Mental. Your mental fitness and readiness are crucial to your excellence as a firefighter. The type of mental health I am talking about involves growing your knowledge base. Challenging your mind increases your IQ intellectually, vocationally, and culturally. The way we did things just ten years ago has evolved. Has your knowledge evolved with it? If not, you risk suffering from mental atrophy. How do I increase my mental fitness? Become a student of firefighter tactics. Study a foreign language or culture. Try reading more books. Try a challenging new hobby. There are many ways to expand your knowledge about…anything.
“Physical. Firefighters are industrial athletes. We are consistently called on to exert ourselves in an effort to save lives. Operating at less than optimum health puts the public, our performance, and our very lives in danger. Physically recharging your body ensures you have the strength, stamina, and flexibility to do your best for the community you serve. Get regular checkups. Exercise regularly. Improve your diet. Not managing your physical resources is the same as neglecting or damaging the equipment used to do your job.
“Emotional. Our emotional stability, though crucial, is often overlooked. As first responders, we see some of the worst things imaginable, over and over again. Each call takes a little toll on me emotionally. Pressing it down, locking it away became a habit. Suicide, heart attack, emotional breakdown, failed relationships with spouse and kids, depression …. We have to be proactive about seeking help to carry this burden. There is no shame or weakness to get help for emotional stress and strain. Most departments have a support program. Contact them or another professional. Be strong enough to advocate for yourself. Please.
“社会。消防员是一家人。我在29年have enjoyed the camaraderie and friendship of my brother and sister firefighters all over the world. Still, there are firefighters that feel alone, like their public smile is only useful at hiding their private pain. They laugh and joke, drink and smoke with others but never reveal an emptiness inside. They are depleted. Three simple words may be able to reach them. Three simple words may let them know that someone cares and they are not alone. Those three words are: Are. You. Okay? These three words, asked with sincerity and compassion, can trigger a trust that allows them to lean on someone they call family, someone sworn to save lives … you. When they open up, three more words seal the commitment to validate the brotherhood and sisterhood that is the fire service. It upholds the promise that says if you are falling through the floor, without thought or hesitation, I will reach out, grab you, and not let go. With my grip around your wrist, these next three words become real. I. Got. You. Then help pull them up. Get them on solid ground. Social interaction as it pertains to festivities etc. is fine, but make sure we check in on each other. Invest in making sure you and your brothers and sisters in the fire service stay recharged. How can our promise to save citizens be taken seriously if we welch on the promise to save family?
“Five areas of the Recharge principle. Ensuring each area is replenished helps prevent you from feeling Powerless. The five areas are Spiritual. Mental. Emotional. Physical and Social. Five areas, five fingers. Fingers are a part of that hand. Reach it out. Come on, reach it out to me. I got you.”
