错误警报
THAT’S OVER WITH
志愿者消防局将举行年度舞会。所有镇上的人都将在那里 - 这个村庄最漂亮，最受欢迎的女士。每个消防员也将与妻子或没有妻子在那里。
Hickson was just putting on his ready-made bow tie when his wife decided to give him a lecture on what he should and what he should not do at the department’s dance.
“现在记住，即使我知道Biddie Girl正在追随您。这是与妻子跳舞的习俗。’’
“All right. All right,” he replied very much bored. “Wind the phonograph and we’ll dance it right here and have it over with.”
“她是洪水吗？”
“她吗？那个婴儿有四个丈夫 - 所有消防员。”
因此可能是
如果美国消防部门的运营方式与电话公司的分期付款分支机构相同，则以下类型的对话将很普遍：
“你好。你好。Send up the outfit to 271 Gay Street. There’s a fire here! Hurry!”
“Just a minute please and I’ll connect you with the hook and ladder department. (B-r-r-ing!) There you are. Go ahead.”
“你好。钩和梯子？这里有火。发送 -
“请问吗？”
“I told you once! 271 Gay Street. If you—”
“Just a minute now. Not so fast. How long have you had this property?”
“How long? How do I remember? I tell you the place is burning down! My wife and children—”
“哦,h, yeah, you want the wife and children department. Ring Cycle 4392 and ask for Mr. Maloney.”
“But—hello.你好。Operator! Operator, get me Cycle 3429—I mean 4392 —hello—hello. Is Mr. Maloney there? No. Mr. Maloney. M-a-l-o-n-e-y.”
“哦，你是说马洛尼先生。naw，他出去吃午餐。我可以接受消息吗？”
“Yes, there’s a fire here, a火！A terrible fire (cough, cough)! I’m damned near suffocating. And my wife and chil—”
“哦,oh, gee! You gotta fire there, huh? Ain’t that a shame? You oughta do something about it.”
“做一点事？悲伤。我正在努力让您的空白的消防部门出现并发疯。”
“但是说，先生，我们不能这样通过电话订单。您必须用书面形式填写一个空白的订单。
“But I haven’t got time, I tell you. My house is burning up!”
“Well, now. I’ll try to fix things up so that we’ll send up a couple of men this afternoon. Anybody goin’ to be there to let ’em in?”
“在那里！G-R-EAT CSESAR的GH - ”
At this point the conversation is unfortunately terminated as our hero is buried in a mass of flaming timbers.
- 幽默。
One way for a fireman to learn to think quickly when at a fire is to eat constantly at a cafeteria.
条件的改善
One summer during the fishing season, Chief—(so we’ve been told) went up to the big woods of Maine for the fishing season. He had a glorious time. The following year he received a letter from the landlady asking if he would care to spend his vacation at her place again.
他写道，如果她摆脱了去年的女仆玛丽，如果猪长距离餐厅的窗户更遥远，他会。他收到以下答复：
“The maid Mary has went. We hain’t had no hogs since you were here last summer. Be sure and come.”
It isn’t very often that one found such a good looker, with such a fine shape in the fire station. She was fast, but she never smoked, and in times of need was a good pal. She was not painted in a vulgar way—just a bit of red here and there to give a sparkling appearance. She was easy on the pockctbook. and when one took her out, one was assured of a good time.
但是，当市议会对酋长投票给新车投票时，她被换成敞篷跑车。
正确指导
Members of the fire department and their families attended the largest church in the city for the annual firemen s memorial services. One woman who evidently enjoyed the services was there with a little boy who, from appearances, did not.
The minister extolled the services of the firemen for about an hour. The mother turned to her little boy and said:
“他不是很棒吗？你觉得他怎么样？”
“He needs a new needle, don’t he, ma?”
All that shines is not serge.
TELL TALE EVIDENCE
When John drove the chief home, he was told to take the car to the garage to have some adjustments made.
“In the morning the chief called to John :
“How is the car running?”
“Not so good chief. After you left last night, there was a little miss in it.”
The chief was angry and said. “That’s right. Just for that you are going to have three days’ pay deducted. I found her gloves and handkerchief in the car.”
